


Rules for Survival

by emerald1963



Series: Aim for the Heart 'Verse [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst, Backstory, Basically the story of how Niles went from five percent innocence to zero percent innocence, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Young Niles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 19:44:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11020275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emerald1963/pseuds/emerald1963
Summary: After eight years on the streets, twelve-year-old Niles thinks he's learned all the rules for navigating them. But there are a few more lessons to learn, and he'll have to learn them the hard way.





	Rules for Survival

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone! Finals and road trips have meant that I haven't had time to work on my ongoing Takuniles fic, [Aim for the Heart](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10695909/chapters/23689629), so to fill in the wait I decided to post this piece that I wrote on Niles's birthday! This essentially serves as my headcanon backstory for him in Aim for the Heart, so you could call them the same universe, but you definitely don't have to read either of them to understand the other. I hope everyone enjoys the fic!

Over his eight or so years on the street, Niles has developed a few simple rules for survival:

-Stay unseen; bad attention's more likely to find the likes of you than good attention.  
-Steal from the busiest shops and the quietest passageways.  
-Keep your knives and your bow on you at all times.  
-Save everything you can; don't waste your money on drink or drugs or anything to make things bearable.  
-Watch your back always, except around your gang.  
-Do whatever you have to.  
-Don't give up; you're gonna get out of here someday. 

His friend Leech (or as close as he's really gotten to a friend in a while- they were initiated into the gang at around the same time, anyway) asks him about the fourth rule once. "Hey, Zero," he says as they're in line to receive their shares from last night's heist. "Why don't I ever see you out celebrating after we get our wages? Or buying something nice for yourself? You get as much as the rest of us, but you barely even get new clothes."

Niles shrugs. "I don't need 'em," he replies. "I'm not gonna waste anything."

Leech squints at him doubtfully. "Dunno if it'd count as waste. You get any more holes in those clothes, you're gonna be walking around with your thing hanging out all day."

"You think I care if anyone sees my thing?" Niles asks rhetorically. Being shy about your body is a pretty pointless exercise on the streets, especially since the time might come when it's your only tool to get money. (Niles hasn't been quite desperate enough to try that yet, though, and if he's lucky, he won't have to.) "Anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm saving."

"What're you saving for?"

"Getting outta here, of course," Niles says. Isn't it obvious? What else would he want? Being with the gang these past few years hasn't been so bad, he guesses, especially compared to where he was before. He has a roof over his head that’s not just tunnel dirt, and Lord Magpie's taught him thievery to the point where he'd say he's pretty great at it. But it's not how he wants to live. Every second in the slums of Windmire is a struggle for survival; every breath tastes like blood, shit, and death. Niles wants out, and he's putting every precaution into making sure he gets his way. 

"Where are you even gonna go?" Leech asks. "You're just a kid. You think someone's gonna hire you?"

"Farms need workers, right?" Niles responds. 

"Twelve-year-old workers?" Leech laughs. "No way. It's never gonna work."

Niles sticks his lip out defiantly and narrows his eyes at Leech. "I'm strong, and I'm smart. I'll find a way." Leech is probably right- who'd want someone like either of them, really?- but Niles doesn't care. Anywhere's better than here, right? "And I've got enough money saved up to cover a trip out of the city and new, respectable clothes, and enough to get me by until I find a job out there. Pretty soon you won't be seeing me no more."

"How'd ya save up enough money to cover all that?" Leech asks. He glances up at Lord Magpie nervously and confirms that their leader's too busy handing out takings to a girl three people ahead of them to be listening before he speaks again, voice lower. "S'not like Lord Magpie leaves us much after takin' his share. We're not exactly rollin' in the dough here."

"I have my ways," Niles says, winking. Those "ways" include going off and stealing on his own without delivering the proceeds to Lord Magpie, something that could get him in huge trouble- Lord Magpie's of the opinion that since he's the one who taught Niles and the rest their thieving skills, everything they steal should rightfully belong to him as well. Niles isn't going to cop to that while standing in the middle of the gang hideout.

Leech's dull brown eyes fill with transparent greed. "D’you keep it all somewhere in here? I sure would like to see your stash." 

Niles snorts. "D'you really think I'm stupid enough to keep it in here? I know you guys, it'd be gone the second one of you saw it. And I'm not stupid enough to tell you where my bolt hole is, neither. I may be just a kid, but I'm smarter than you." 

Leech sulks as he walks up to Lord Magpie and takes the coins the older man offers. "Whatever, Zero. Let me know if you ever feel like sharing." 

Niles rolls his eyes, then hurriedly composes his expression, as it's his turn to receive his share of the takings.

Lord Magpie is a tall, muscular man of maybe four dozen years. His face is weathered by the slums, as all of theirs will be if they live that long, but he wears a faded velvet robe and well-made leather boots. He's the closest thing to a true lord Niles will probably ever see.

Niles performs the customary bow and holds his hand out, waiting for his share. Lord Magpie presses some coins into his hand, but doesn't remove his own hand even after the coins have fallen into Niles's palm. Niles looks down at the hand in surprise. (As always, Lord Magpie has a different ring on every finger- when will any of the other gang members even see half the money it takes to buy a ring like that, Niles wonders?)

"You did an excellent job last night, Zero," Lord Magpie says. "Those traps you disabled might have tricked thieves twice your age. You deserve a little extra for your efforts."

He lifts his hand away and Niles blinks in surprise to see six coppers nestled in his hand, instead of the three he usually would have gotten for a heist this size. "Thank you, milord," he says, not even having to feign gratitude. Three extra coppers isn't much compared to what Lord Magpie has, but it'll get him a few days closer to finally getting out of this shitty slum.

"You really are coming along," Lord Magpie remarks. "I certainly hope you remain with us. More rewards will be waiting if your talents continue to grow like this."

Niles may be only twelve, but he's had plenty of practice lying. "I'm not going anywhere, milord," he says smoothly, looking Lord Magpie in the eye, hoping the man really hadn't been listening earlier. "This is the only gang I'll ever have, I swear it." That part's true, at least. Niles has no plan of ever ganging up again. It doesn't feel worth it, not when Lord Magpie's paying for his rings with Niles's hard work. It's just not fair. 

Lord Magpie just hums in assent. "Well, then. You're on pickpocketing duty today. Bring back your proceeds to me or to Claw at the end of the day."

Niles nods and scurries off as the next kid in line holds out an eager hand. 

 

He doesn't take a direct route to his bolt hole from the gang's hideout. The whole point of the bolt hole was to be the safest place he could find, since he'd be laughed out of any bank if he walked in there asking them to hold his coppers for him. Why would he jeopardize that by making the location obvious? He's already feeling a bit uneasy about telling Leech anything- the other boy's not that bright, but Niles wouldn't put it past him to get the bright idea of tailing him to the bolt hole. Just to be safe, he goes through two underground market squares first, weaving as unpredictably as he can in an effort to lose any tails. He slips his hand into a woman's purse on the way, adding another few coppers to his stash. Lord Magpie never has to know. 

Once he's out of the markets he heads straight for his hideout, taking a more circuitous path than usual and keeping his hand on his bow just in case. After enough twists and turns that any stupid follower like Leech would be bound to get lost, he squeezes into a tiny, half-hidden tunnel in the wall of a forgotten cavern and worms his way up to the surface. His hideout is up here, where no one would ever expect it- who would keep their valuables in the most dangerous place of all? But Niles has perfected the art of hiding where the least people will look. The hideout is in the attic of a warehouse that's used for grain storage by the royal palace. It's nearly empty right now, thanks to a few years of famine. The ownership of the building means it's under guard; the emptiness means it's not guarded well. The perfect combination. Niles may not be able to get into a real bank, but the Bank of Niles is under royal protection. The palace must send its trainees here or something, Niles reflects as he slips past a guard who's busy examining his reflection in his shield. Either that, or royal guards just aren't all that special. He hurries up to the loft, which is full of old grain bags; the wheat's been here so long that there's a slightly rotten smell up here, but that's all for the better, if it wards people off. The palace people certainly won't get any ideas about taking this grain and using it to feed their fancy stinking nobles, anyway. And the grain's not so rotten that he can't eat it if he gets really desperate.

He loosens the tie at the top of one of the bags and plunges his arms in up to the elbows until his hands encounter another, smaller bag inside. He pulls the bag out and hugs it in his arms, enjoying a small measure of comfort from just how full it's getting. It's taken a lot of stealing that would get him in huge trouble with Lord Magpie and a lot of nights of half-rotten grain, but he's almost there. He'd guess that in only a few weeks, it'll be full enough that his dream of a real life outside Windmire, a respectable life, will be close enough to touch. This bag is his future. It's nice to know that because of it, the life he's living is only for now. 

He opens the bag and pours his new takings in, enjoying the satisfying clink they make against the coins already in there. Humming a soft tune happily to himself, he sticks one hand into the bag, running it through the stash. It's mostly coppers, but there are some silvers mixed in, and a few even more valuable items. He pulls one at random out of the bag, a silver ring inlaid with a small sapphire that he thinks is real. He slips the ring onto his finger, just for fun. It's much too large for him, although he imagines it'd fit well on Lord Magpie's finger. Part of the reason he'd kept this specific piece was to tweak his lord's nose, he has to admit- he's sure Lord Magpie would just love to add it to his collection. "I like you better on me," he murmurs to the ring before dropping it back into the bag. 

It's probably time to go, he thinks. He's supposed to be out working the streets already- if his take is smaller than usual because of the time he spent here, Lord Magpie might start wondering if he's skimming off the top, which, of course, he is. Best not to risk it. And best not to risk anyone finding his bolt hole. It's pretty much the only thing in the world he has all to himself. He buries his treasure carefully back in the grain bag and blows it a kiss as he leaves. "I'll be back for you later, sweetheart." 

 

Maybe he goes back too often. Maybe that's what does for him. Niles isn't precisely sure. All he knows is that one night only a week or so later, he's sitting in the grain loft, counting his coins, when he hears a floorboard creak behind him. His head jerks back in the direction of the creaking to see a tall, dark figure looming behind him. His eyes widen and he scrambles to his feet, hands going instantly to his daggers- the figure's too close for him to use his bow. How did he let them get that close? How could he let his guard down like that? He hears a chuckle from behind him and whirls, trying to get his bearings. Oh gods, he's not just facing one opponent. There are six of them, and they've got him surrounded-

His naked fear must show on his face, because one of the other figures laughs. "Aww, look at 'im, 'e's just a little kid. Kinda makes you feel bad, doesn't it?"

"Who cares how little 'e is," grunts another man, gesturing to the Bank of Niles, lying half-spilled on the floor. "'E's a rich little kid, and we've got a job to do."

"That's mine," says Niles, trying to keep his voice from shaking. His hands tighten on the hilts of his daggers. "I earned it, and I'm keeping it." How could they have found him? the despairing part of his mind asks. Is this a dream? Please, let it be a dream...

"Yeah, and now we're earning it," says one of the attackers, leaning down and reaching for the bag.

Niles stabs him in the arm before he can grab it. 

The man staggers back, roaring in pain. "Shit, 'e's armed! Get 'im!"

The five other men converge on Niles, and he wonders if he's made a miscalculation. He could have made a run for it, he bets, but that would mean he'd have to leave his money behind and probably start all over. He's been saving this for YEARS. He doesn't know if he could bear losing it. But with six opponents at the same time, all of whom are a lot bigger and older than him, he might be losing a lot more than that.

...Well, he's not backing down now. He may be smaller than them, but he's faster and more nimble too. He can use that. He slips between two of the men and strikes from behind, sheathing his daggers in each of their backs before pulling them out. They probably aren't killing shots, but if he's lucky, it'll put the men out of commission until he can finish the job. He ducks beneath the swinging blade of one of the other attackers and slashes out at any pieces of flesh he can reach, it doesn't particularly matter which. As long as it hurts.

He lets himself think he's doing well, a few minutes into the fight- he's gotten a few scratches, but nothing serious, and three of the men are down with wounds so bad that they haven't gotten up again. He's made their numbers work against instead of for them, letting them run into each other instead of him. Maybe he can win this, he thinks, if he's halfway there, he just has to-

That's when the dagger plunges into his eye. 

He sees it coming, tries to fling himself out of the way, but the attacker's too fast for him. He closes his eyes right before impact, hoping desperately to avoid it, but his eyelid, which has helped protect his eye from sand and grit and sunlight over the past twelve years, is powerless against steel. His vision goes silver and red, then explodes into nothingness.

There's an instant of numbness and utter silence, then the pain hits. Niles screams and drops to the floor, unable to even think about fighting or about his savings, unable to think about anything but the fire that has consumed the right side of his face. Niles had thought he was no stranger to pain- he's been in fights before, obviously, and even been stabbed a few times. But all of that was like stubbing a toe compared to this. This is his first taste of real pain. He claws at the dagger, trying to get it out _get it out getitout_ , cutting his hand open on the side of the blade as he does so. When he does, horribly, the pain only doubles, as blood and something jelly-like that he really, really doesn't want to think about start gushing down his face. Tears are sliding down the other side, and he can barely breathe for screaming, crying, pleading "please, make it stop, it hurts!" He thinks he might be calling for his mother, but he doesn't know. The pain is so great that he can't even make out his own thoughts clearly.

He doesn't know what happens next. He can only register scattered things, which might be a blessing. 

The taste of blood.

Rough arms scooping him up, holding him like a sack of flour.

A conversation that he can't understand- he takes in the shapes of the words, but he's much too far gone to catch their meaning.

"-weren't supposed to take the eye-"

"-wasn't supposed to fight back like that, little bastard-"

"-my best protege, didn't you think he needs-"

"-did what you told us, just give us our share-"

"-think I'm paying full price for this, you're crazy-"

 

He drifts then, into dreams, able to escape reality but not the omnipresent pain, which chases him through each and every nightmare. He's not sure how long he sleeps, but when he wakes, he's in a bed, which would be an unusual event in itself. He blinks his eyes open to find that only one of them responds; his vision feels sickeningly incomplete. He remembers, then, what happened. He reaches up to touch his eye- gods, the place where his eye was- and encounters only bandages, plus a dull pain when he even so much as brushes it. He closes his eyes- eye- again and tries to fight an onrushing sense of absolute panic. This has to be another dream, right? If it's not, what does he do? Tears seep out from his remaining eye, and his body shudders with quiet sobs. 

"Ah, you're awake."

The voice is coming from his right- Niles has to turn his head to see who it is, much farther than he would have before. "...Lord Magpie?"

"You're lucky to be alive," says the older man, looming over his bed. "Why would you pick a fight with so many men at once? I expected better from you, Zero."

"I didn't," Niles defends himself, trying to calm his tears. It won't do to cry in front of anyone, especially not Lord Magpie. "They jumped me. They were trying to take my- my savings... Did they get away?"

Lord Magpie nods, and Niles feels his heart crack in his chest. "Your money's gone, boy. Be more careful with it next time."

"All... all right," Niles responds numbly. He can save up again, right? This was the result of years of saving, sure, and he was almost there, but he can make it back eventually, right? "What about my eye?" he asks, although he's sickeningly sure he knows the answer. 

Lord Magpie shakes his head this time. "I hired you a healer, and she saved your life, but she said no one could have saved that eye. It's fine, though- there have been plenty of one-eyed thieves. You'll learn again."

"Okay," says Niles, not knowing what else to say, even though it's the farthest thing from okay. How many one-eyed farmer's helpers have there been, he wonders? Who would hire a one-eyed boy covered in suspicious knife scars?

"There is the question of repayment, though," Lord Magpie continues. "Healer's fees are expensive, you know. I paid for them out of my own pocket, but this injury is your fault, and you should bear the cost. I'll have to dock your share of the takings by half until your debt's repaid."

Half wages are barely enough to buy a heel of bread to get yourself through the day, Niles wants to argue. He definitely won't be able to save anything on that little money- he'll barely stay alive. He wants to protest, but instead he asks, "How much do I owe you?"

The sum Lord Magpie names nearly makes Niles's eye pop out of his head.

"Fine," he says anyway. "I'll pay you back." He doesn't protest, and he doesn't cry again, not even after Lord Magpie's gone. What would be the point? There is no point. He tried the whole caring thing, and this is where it got him. It's time to stop caring and stop trying. Not a single second has been worth it.

 

Two weeks later, he's collecting his single copper coin when he notices a new ring on Lord Magpie's finger- silver, inlaid with a small sapphire that really must be real if Lord Magpie had liked it enough to keep it. He understands in a flash how Lord Magpie had found him and 'rescued' him. The words he'd heard while writhing in pain come back and suddenly make a lot more sense. So it was all a setup, hmmm? Lord Magpie hadn't wanted to lose his protege, so he'd taken Niles's future and his eye. Good thing he'd also taken the part of Niles that had the energy to care- or, well, it might still be somewhere in there, but it's buried so deeply that it'll never bother him again. Instead of crying or yelling, he just smiles sardonically as he walks away, clutching his coin in his hand. _You win this round, milord. Looks like you've got me for good._

 

Niles has been a fool, but no one can say he doesn't learn. He adds a few more rules to his list:

-If someone wrongs you, get revenge.  
(He finds every one of the six men who'd jumped him, eventually. It takes a while, but each one of them gets a dagger to the eye and then to the heart. He really prefers killing with the bow, but for this exercise, daggers seem more fitting. He gets Lord Magpie, too- not outright with weapons, since the rest of the gang would probably try to kill him for it or try to make him their leader, and he's not interested in either. No, the rest of the gang assumes it was dysentery that got the old man. Everyone talks for a while after that about how painful it must be to die by shitting your own guts out. Niles dearly hopes so.)

-Watch your back, always. No exceptions.  
(He kills Leech, too. He can't know if this happened because Lord Magpie overheard them in line or because Leech ratted him out for wanting to leave and for having his own stash of gold, but he's not willing to take chances. He stops telling other gang members about his dreams for the future- well, he stops having dreams for the future, but if he ever suddenly developed one, he wouldn't tell anyone.)

-Don't bother to hope. You're here until you die and there's nothing you can do about it.  
(He thinks that one speaks for itself.)

The lessons came at a high price- he'd rather not have learned them at all than learned them this way, he thinks. But maybe if he follows them he can keep his other eye.

**Author's Note:**

> Me @ me: Kate do you hate Niles  
> Me @ me: No I love Niles  
> Me @ me: Kate do you love seeing Niles in pain  
> Me @ me: No I want Niles to be happy always  
> Me @ me: THEN WHY DO YOU KEEP WRITING SHIT LIKE THIS  
> Me @ me: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
> 
> I swear to you that EVENTUALLY I will write Niles happy, and that this Niles that I just wrote will end up blessedly happy with Takumi (although if you'd prefer him with Leo or Kamui or anyone else then please feel free to sub that in) and when that day comes I will write a TON of fluff, so.... I'm not a monster.... I promise....
> 
> If you have comments, questions, or concerns, please feel free to come yell at/with me at [@iwaoiaesthetic](https://twitter.com/iwaoiaesthetic) on Twitter! Thank you for reading!


End file.
